How to stop caring what other people think.
These two principles are principles which are stopping you from starting the business you want to start, meeting the love of you your life or doing that degree you want to do. Maybe you are a mature student who wants to complete an access course to get onto higher education.
Caring what other people think can allow you to be in your deathbed saying what you should have done. It allows you to live in a position of acceptance for mediocrity, disconnection with purpose and a disregard for the humanity around you.
Principle one. Do not think people are so different to you just because of their position.
You are over sentimentalising the fact that someone is a professor and a barrister. These are people that have jobs as much the same as anyone has, they have their pains in life, they are wanting to make a living and they have families. Humanise them, play into their interests, what does a lecturer want for you and themself? What does a barrister want from you? I listened to a great podcast by a barrister I follow on LinkedIn where she talks about how she wants students doing mini pupillage to metamorphose into a Victorian child.
Treat all people with your utmost respect not just because of their position. Something I have always practised in a workplace is practising gratitude for each individual person’s existence. Even when I do not like them I try to evaluate their good points. If they are particularly horrible I say to myself they have a mother and father who loves them very much - it validates their existence. How to win friends and influence people said "Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him."
Sometimes you find unexpected friends in this way. I remember I used to go to the language exchange in Leeds, there was a man from Bahrain in a suit and drinking espresso martini. I said why does this guy think he is james bond? He used to come up and talk to me but our conversations did not make us any closer. Eventually I saw past these self inflicted boundaries and he became my best friend. I looked at who he really was and he was someone who always said hello and had respect. A person who I thought was unrelatable and possibly arrogant was actually one of the nicest people I have met in my entire existence.
Chances are the people you do not feel relatable to will want you to succeed. You need to destroy the perception that this world is mainly evil. Okay yes there are wars, there are terrible atrocities in the world and even on our own doorstep. However, think of how wealth is growing everyday, how we have computers, phones, which can convey vast amounts of information to change peoples lives that our grandparents would not have even thought about before. You live in the best time in all of human existence, the most advanced, the best we have. There are surgeons fighting for your life, lawyers fighting for your freedom and teachers fighting for your education. Why do you want to assume the position that you do not know enough for people to care about you? If you trust yourself, opportunity comes to you. If you trust yourself you are more inclined to put yourself in situations where you meet people. Good always serves good. Think of when you smile at people everyday maybe that smile encourages someone to believe in themself, maybe they go out and feel motivated to provide education to someone and they get more positive feedback that day. Maybe that person who receives the education becomes a lawyer and serves others, that freedom that was granted inspires someone to write a book about their experience and it inspires a generation.
The barristers and professors that I have met want the next generation to be deliverers of justice. I went to an event at BPP university and I was impressed by how down to earth a King’s council lawyer was. The fact that they chose to talk about her personal life in the public eye showed she was very authentic and showed the reality of the legal profession constricting her family life.
It was humbling that she said she did not partake in social media. The modern world sees this as something eccentric but that added to her authenticity. I recognised that as deeply meaningful as she elaborated upon the fact that it was a great disturbance to the family meal when everybody is deeply immersed in the plight of social media . It was relatable, she had respect for family life, she was working class and she was not some eternal deity who practised law every second of the day to receive her title.
Principle two, you are not ten steps into your future you are you today.
Don’t think you have to have this intricate , analytical mind of a Supreme Court judge who can recite all the case law from the top of his head. Nor do you have to be magical to secure a particular job. People assess you in relation to your current position. I am a first year law student, people do not expect me to attend Crown Court or to start a blog. They do not expect me to be this lucid, pioneer of the legal profession.
If you start a business do not expect to make one million in the first year. Your time will come.
Abraham Lincoln said “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” Sharpen your axe, don’t chop down that tree straight away because chances are you’re gonna have a hard time.
Embrace yourself, you are not meant to become Einstein, Carnegie or Al Pacino. You should not underestimate the capability of yourself. Life is like a script you just tell it what you want and back it up by hard word. You will never regret becoming the best version of yourself.
